Tacoma Horoscopes (17. August 2007, 11:44 by Erik) ~ Let me peer into my crystal ball ...
Aries (March 21 – April 19) The waxing moon is in your favor. Expect a lot of luck this week. It might be time to try out for that play at Tacoma Little Theater. Lucky numbers: 1 through 23,723, but not 52.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Jupiter’s transit through Virgo means you should venture out more. Meet new people! Romance abounds at the next Love Tacoma event. (This horoscope brought to you by Love Tacoma.)
Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Death. Probably in a hail of gunfire. Sorry.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22) You’ll see the person you were destined to marry riding the Link. Unfortunately, you’ll be in your car at 11th and Commerce. Too bad you drove today, eh?
Leo (July 23 – August 22) You are the same sign as fellow Leo FeedTacoma, which just turned 1. Recommend celebrating at Galanga or Capers.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Tacoma’s got nothing left for you anymore. With Mercury at its peak, now may be the time to pull up roots and relocate. How do you feel about Burien?
Libra (September 23 – October 22) Lunar tides boost your influence next week. Whoever you vote for in Tuesday’s primary is going to win. If you don’t vote, anarchy will likely ensure.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) At 6:00 pm tonight stand on the Bridge of Glass wearing moon boots, chaps, a fake tuxedo t-shirt, and a beret. You’ll thank us Monday.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) The creative class beckons! Quit your day job and join the ranks of creative professionals! Do it today! (Note: horoscopes for entertainment purposes only. Exit133 accepts no liability for your mid-life crisis.)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) New opportunities beckon. Remember, the wisest is wiser than one who is not wise. Vague sentiments will lead you to prosperity.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Are you really going to base your next decision on Saturn’s proximity to its zenith? C’mon, people!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You’re in one of America’s most livable cities; get out and enjoy it! Or else.
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I’m a Cap:
New opportunities beckon.
Heck yah! I’m going to Red Hot for my first time tonight!
Remember, the wisest is wiser than one who is not wise.
Ahhh, Sensei, this is so true.
Vague sentiments will lead you to prosperity.
Do vague sentiments have anything to do with Pabst Blue Ribbon? :)
Have a great weekend, Derek.
Thank you for the Friday smile.
1 | Posted by Natasha | Aug 17, 12:44 PM
I’m also a Gemini. Since we’re all going to die sometime, I’m cool with the first sentence. It’s the second sentence I’m not too wacky about.
4 | Posted by Erik Hanberg | Aug 17, 02:06 PM
Freaking hilarious! Me, I missed “the link” while driving up 11th at Commerce (see Cancer). My wife will appreciate that.
5 | Posted by fuzzybear | Aug 17, 02:06 PM
I’m a Cancer, and I miss the link every single day. I love the Gemini scope. Good ending to the nice and evil twins.
6 | Posted by kc | Aug 17, 02:34 PM
Crap. I should have read the the whole Sagittarius horoscope before quitting my day job. Why are disclaimers always at the end?
8 | Posted by DavidS | Aug 17, 03:09 PM
Happy B-Day to us Leo’s. Come celebrate at the “Glass Roots” Festival.
9 | Posted by Penelope | Aug 17, 11:45 PM
Commenting is closed for this article.
