Excerpts from the Secret Diary of Bill Baarsma (28. September 2007, 07:48 by Erik) ~ The journal Baarsma doesn't want you to see!

May 5, 2007
Great day! Marty Riemer asked me to call Greg Nickels a “beeyotch” on the radio for a commercial. I pretended I didn’t know what the word meant. “Is that a gardening tool or something?” I asked him. LOL. Greg IS a tool. But Riemer totally bought the Stuffy Business Professor act. So I got to call the Seattle Mayor a “beeyotch” on the radio, and all I had to do was pretend I didn’t know what it meant. Man, if anyone ever read you, diary, and saw the REAL Bill Baarsma, their heads would freaking explode.

July 18, 2007
What a day! Connie is on my case about the potholes again. It’s just a few bumps in the road that no one in T-Town wanted to fix until that storm screwed everything up! Does she want to blame me for the snow, too? C’mon, it’s freaking July already. Forget last winter already, people!

August 10, 2007
Jeez. All these people keep yakking about North Shore Golf Course. “Save North Shore! Save North Shore!” Jake keeps trying to get me to do something. Do what, yo? I’m just a part-time mayor. Now maybe if you all were willing to support a STRONG MAYOR form of government I open a can of whoop-ass on this one horse town and really get things done.

August 23, 2007
Man, those primary election results were a total buzz kill. Jonny was fourth out of four???!! WTF? That was my guy! I thought my endorsement would have at least gotten him into the general. Where’s the love? Maybe I’ve played the college professor shtick too long. I was at Tully’s today and I don’t think anyone even recognized me. What do I need to do, wear a sash that says Mayor of Tacoma on it? Geesh. I hate this place sometimes.

August 28, 2007
The LID vote tonight was off the hook. Sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to hold Riley up by his ankles and try to shake the loose change out of his pockets. Damn. People are going to be pissed.
On the plus side, everyone still thinks Tom and I hate each other. Ha! I can’t believe people are that gullible. Poker night is at his place Friday. If Julie thinks she can call deuces wild again, I’m going to flip.

September 19, 2007
Sweet. Dan Voepel said I was like the hero of a Western for standing up to Sound Transit. About freaking time someone noticed. Maybe I’ll stick around this po-dunk burg a little while longer. Someone is bound to name a park after me eventually.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.